preface...

preface…

I’ll let you in on a little secret in life that you might not be quite aware of just yet, all in the hope that when you eventually become conscious of it that it won’t be too late: You are going to get old. Not only this, but getting old is a bitch if it suddenly catches you off-guard later in life and you are left in retrospection looking back on a wasted youth and wishing that you’d have educated yourself while ignoring the urge to wear ass-revealing jeans and/or mutilate your-own body. Yes, that even includes you with the cute little butterfly and/or fraternity symbol tattooed on your ankle.

In fact, as cool as you may think you are presently [at whatever point in your life], it is always best to keep one eye on the future while abstaining from the practices that might hinder your livelihood and family-dynamics in the time that is to come. While living life day by day because you are not guaranteed tomorrow sounds good, life-insurance companies make tons of money based upon the simple fact that vast majority of you will [in fact] live to a ripe old age. So… It’s probably best to pull your pants up right now and [for once] consider that your future is imminent. I guarantee you that the tramp-stamp on your lower back and/or the barbed-wire on your upper arm won’t look nearly as sexy at 70 years of age as it does today. The use of present tense forethought regarding every decision that you make (especially ones that stay with you for a lifetime) means that it’s less likely in the future that you’ll ever be forced to explain such travesties to your overly curious and inquisitive grandchildren; not to mention a decade or so later when [theoretically] you might be worried about what the nurses are thinking as they are turning you from side to side in order to change your diaper. Nevertheless, a little anticipation in all of this during the formative years will hopefully help you on your way to being a productive citizen able to provide a comfortable living for your family that is to be, while also preparing you for a secure retirement in the latter years, hopefully before any of the aforementioned scenarios were to [God-forbid] take place.

With that said, this book is a voyage into my mind (a financially and socially successful late thirty-something) that reveals many opinions concerning today’s youth (and society in general) with amazingly accurate and humorous predictions regarding the potential they might possess [based upon their respective appearances and actions] in comparison to what they will eventually make of themselves.

You see… I was fortunate enough to have a caring mentor at thirteen years of age that bluntly gave me similar information after noticing that I was headed on a path in life that led to nowhere. The information in the following pages takes into account the road in life that I was once on and the about-face that ensued once it was all presented to me in a comparable, likewise fashion. In my opinion based upon my experiences, no-nonsense straightforward talk is what many of today’s youth need to hear in order to somehow garner a revealing glance inside the blurry fishbowl that is their-own life from the outside where they can see the entire picture more clearly.

So… Let’s pretend for a moment that we live in a seemingly make-believe world in which today’s youth (or even my-own children) and the others mentioned later in the book actually give a crap about what I (or someone else) might have to say. Furthermore, let’s also imagine that they are remotely capable of objective reasoning regarding their-own appearances and/or habits once those tendencies are laid out right in front of them.

With that in mind…