3... Piercedlipimum nevergetajobamus

Family:

LOSERIUM

Genus:

Piercedlipimum

Species:

nevergetajobamus

Common Name:

punk, emo, hoodlum, skateboarder

Subcategories:

Piercedbrowium nevergetajobamus: A variation that is still accepted [at large] into the species, this subcategory may have three [or more] hoops lined-up in a bunch, all impaling the lateral aspect of one (or both) eyebrow(s).

Ringloopium ondasideamus: Opts for the loop in the nose rather than the female variety diamond stud. If “cool” enough, (just like Piercedbrowium nevergetajobamus) it may be able to get away with a few piercings lined-up on the side of one nostril.

Septalpiercean likeabullimus: This breed of species prefers the bovine look of a bull and is readily identifiable with a nasal ring that barbarically pierces the septum.

Arrowstudium abovedachinamus: Centered, with a spike above the chin, and usually associated with a heavy-metal look – [many times] complemented by the spiked Mohawk.

Note: All of the above may exhibit varying degrees of distant cousin Pantus ondagroundamus.

Probably Evolved From:

Suicidal tendencies combined with never considering one’s future and therefore a desire to push the limits of “individualism” and body mutilation.

Close Affiliations:

Krustician boogeringamus, Assgonian emotianus

Don’t Confuse With:

Someone who busted their lip the night before at baseball practice while fielding a groundball that unfortunately took a bad hop; or someone who got their butt kicked [for whatever reason].

Preferred Everyday Activity:

P. nevergetajobamus demonstrates an amazing ability to adapt and survive in the middle of a mosh-pit; one of the most amazing feats one can film while observing or filming nature. While not “moshing”, P. nevergetajobamus prefers recreational activity that involves varying degrees of obtaining tattoos and drugs.

Approachability:

Usually very polite and cordial, unless loud music breaks-out, at which point P. nevergetajobamus can and will instinctively begin slamming into everyone in its vicinity. That being said, a library would probably be the best place to initially attempt a closer-look at P. nevergetajobamus. Doing so in a controlled and quiet environment will allow you to observe its tendencies with less of a chance of getting injured. Obviously the worst place to do so would be at a concert.

Ultimate Life’s Potential:

Landing the coveted vacancy of the latest hard-rock group to lose its lead-guitarist as the result of an overdose.

Reality:

Will more-than-likely become a roofer, dry-waller, or do some type of carpentry work. In all likelihood, [when older] P. nevergetajobamus will [in fact] have a blue-collar construction job, pay taxes while avoiding crime, and therefore contribute to society as a whole; however, it will never get close to its full-potential in life.

How to Avoid Becoming One:

You don’t need to look like a band-member to enjoy their music. As all of your friends are doing so, resist the urge to stick a sharp object through your bottom lip, nasal passage, or eyebrow, even though doing so might sound like a hoot at the time. If you must be noticed for something, [instead] let it be for the compassion you display to others, your intellect, the ability to dress well, or something similar.