21... Barbedwirean onda-armimus

Family:

CHEESEBALLION

Genus:

Barbedwirean

Species:

onda-armimus

Common Name:

UFC wannabe

Subcategories:

Shavedheadium rolledupsleevesimus: Always proud to display its ink by rolling up its sleeve, even the occasional long-sleeve, to the point of visibility.

Nomusclesium butstillcoolimus: Displaying somewhat advanced intelligence, this species accentuates its otherwise bony frame with the patented muscle-revealing tattoo that is easily spotted along with the preferred ribbed wife-beater or sleeveless shirt.

Probably Evolved From:

Some male species will copy anything if they feel that it may give them a leg-up during the mating season; but unlike the toe-ring, the tattoo is unfortunately a bit more permanent… And one day Barbedwirean onda-armimus will be all wrinkled-up at 90 years of age, still sporting the tattoo (or what you can still make of it).

Close Affiliations:

Tittyfleximum checkmeoutimus

Don’t Confuse With:

Full arm-length tattoos on rock-stars that will never have to actually work for a living. Very-much unlike them, it would be advantageous for B. onda-armimus to hide its tattoo every now and then.

Preferred Everyday Activity:

Watching UFC™ PayPerView™ while wearing its favorite brand of cheesy, tight-fitting shirt, usually one that says either TAPOUT™ or AFFLICTION™.

Approachability:

Not at all docile. In fact, it is usually a hot-head for sure. Approach it using extra caution.

Ultimate Life’s Potential:

If lucky, it may end up a personal trainer.

Reality:

Will never reach its full-potential in life and will be haunted later-on when its grandchildren ask about its tattoo.

How to Avoid Becoming One:

If you must, use the temporary add-water press-on tattoos vs. the permanent ink.