2... Krustician boogeringamus

Family:

LOSERIUM

Genus:

Krustician

Species:

boogeringamus

Common Name:

tramp, guest [on Maury Povich], one of the babies’ daddy’s momma’s

Subcategories:

Trashyvibean hastrampstampimus: The “tramp-stamp” usually seals the deal for the possible potential in life that once was during the pre-evolvement period. Hooters™ remains a probable place of employment and income.

Shabbychicindianimus dotnotfeatherium: An attempt to put an elitist Indian spin on American culture, S. dotnotfeatherium usually falls short of its goals in life, but fails to understand why it wasn’t hired for the professional job it interviewed for, despite possessing a good rapport with the interviewer. By all accounts, it can appear as beautiful and act as intelligently as possible sans booger-ring; but unfortunately rarely figures out that “individualism” is only nice if you plan on working a job that doesn’t require some degree of expertise, while [hopefully] providing a little stability in return.

Infectionian onantibioticsimus: MRSA: The infected, crusty, pus… (dare I spell it) booger-ring that sounded like a good idea a week ago, but recently had to be lanced and milked by healthcare personnel while under anesthesia in the wake of an infection after an unperceived outward subcutaneous exposure of itra-nasal normal flora.

Probably Evolved From:

Was likely once a Haltertopian twelveyearsoldimus who decided to go with the Middle-Eastern / Indian shabby-chic look in an effort to further impress another species, such as Neonlightimum undercarimus.

Close Affiliations:

Piercedlipimum nevergetajobamus, Assgonian emotianus

Don’t Confuse With:

The common superficial nose pimple. The intra-nasal cavity bacteria introduced into the tissue surrounding the piercing can cause a localized infection with puss and nastiness that would cause the common pimple to blush with shame.

Preferred Everyday Activity:

K. boogeringamus, for whatever reason, usually possesses above-average intelligence; however, big distractions from school-work, such as daydreaming of a family of six with Pantus ondagroundamus or Assgonian emotianus while living off food-stamps, remain an everyday problem keeping it from reaching its full-potential in life. K. boogeringamus may have an athletic brother or sister, and is therefore inclined to hours at the ballpark, but interestingly away from the ball-fields, themselves, where (away from parental supervision) it usually seeks-out Pantus ondagroundamus or Assgonian emotianus (who also have athletic siblings) somewhere near the sand-pile, the playground, or in the nearby woods bordering the park.

Approachability:

Usually well-mannered and polite; but attracted to Pantus ondagroundamus, which if of the “thug” subcategory variety, makes approachability hazardous.

Ultimate Life’s Potential:

With parental-monitored ballpark expeditions and weekend-night mall outings, K. boogeringamus relies on its-own intellect and strong familial support to keep its grades up while growing out of this phase of life. Later in life, K. boogeringamus can become a strong college student that blends-in with its many normal friends, even while [maybe] hanging on to the booger-ring for a few more years.

Reality:

Pantus ondagroundamus or Piercedlipimum nevergetajobamus will usually knock-up K. boogeringamus, thereby stymieing its life’s potential and leaving it and its future offspring neglected by a deadbeat dad; and with many half-brothers and sisters.

How to Avoid Becoming One:

Despite sounding like a hoot, attempt to resist the overwhelming urge to stick a sharp object percutaneously into your nasal passage.