evolution...

evolution…

Evolution: Here is a word that can divide a cross-section of any-given population, with varying degrees of opinion on the matter usually coinciding somewhat with spiritual beliefs and/or the lack thereof, many times regardless of the presence [or not] of a previous formal scientifically-based education. What I mean is that there are highly educated people on both sides of the argument, many of whom bring-up very good points supporting their beliefs. In the end, however, it usually boils down to talking-points in theology versus atheism / agnosticism, thereby leaving those of us somewhere in the middle both under-heard and under-appreciated.

By the way, I’m one of those in-between the two sides. Yes, go ahead and tell me all about the “Big Bang” and the fallout that occurred and just-so-happened to randomly sort and blend molecular level entities [amino acids] in such a manner to somehow form one complex protein. Then lecture me further on how over a million of these structures bonded [without direction or sequence], remained stable over ‘millions of years’, and finally formed the functional unit that we know today as the cell. Oh, and don’t forget to instruct me on exactly how a trillion or so of these cells somehow found themselves and each other wallowing in a pool of pond scum, many of them bored out of their wits, until one of them decided to spawn some sexual genitalia, pull-out a doobie, and put on some Hendrix, with the other ones quickly following suit; which obviously culminated in a free-for-all orgy – thereby multiplying and [‘over millions of years’] eventually creating the multifaceted life-form that we know today as a living organism. And finally, give me a detailed play-by-play on precisely how these organisms mutated, transformed, and metamorphosed to become the more-complex life-forms that we currently encounter every day, including human life.

The point here is that we exist, and despite how smart you think you are, you cannot fully explain how, or even why? This is not to say that theology has all of the answers regarding the origin of life; but to tell you the truth (and despite having a science-based education, myself), given the world that I see every day, I’m sometimes more-inclined to believe the “fairy-tale” religious version over the detailed, graphic version depicted by scientists over and over as if they’ve been present all-along to witness the spectacle firsthand.

Nevertheless, lately I’ve been thinking, and overwhelming evidence has been steadily showing that human-evolution IS [in fact] occurring, despite the fact that most of you reading this still have your pinky toes and appendix. Not only this, but it’s occurring at a faster pace than evolutionists might’ve previously thought, being that things always occur at a minimum “over millions of years” for these people. It is my theory that 100 years from now, human evolution will be proven and widely accepted, hopefully from the arguments pointed-out in this book.

There is a catch, however. From my-own research, every indication is that human evolution is NOT an adaptation that suggests “survival of the fittest”, as Charles Darwin once hypothesized. Instead, it’s progressive morphologically-induced conscious change discretely manifesting itself in individuals by measurable outward appearances and thought processes, over time inherently allowing and encouraging human beings into doing just-enough to get by, all while enabling the process of entitlements and wealth distribution.

You see, through frequent trips to the mall, the movies, the gym, and the ballpark (just to name a few), and coupled with the recent direction of the United States government, I’ve started to come-up with my-own “Darwinian” taxonomy system from detailed observation while people-watching, further suggesting exactly what Darwin was saying all along, only that evolution is NOT in essence “the early bird gets the worm”, but more like “the early bird gets the worm and then divides it evenly between its neighbors, all of whom slept in.”

We’ve all been taught the taxonomy classification system, right? Basically that every living thing belongs to a Domain, Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, and Species, with the combination of the last two categories being the “scientific name” assigned to the creature; such as “Homo sapien”. Well, somewhere along the “Family” line I’ve noticed in my lifetime things have already started to branch-out a little.

My dilemma in all of this is that I do not want my children to evolve into the dependent categories of this classification system, otherwise known as the “default” destination for American children that lack guidance, and thereby add to the cesspool of genetic mutations over lifetimes that essentially drains my country of initiative, hard work, and resources, for all intents and purposes the lifeblood that contributes to its greatness. In this context, I felt that it’d be best to start categorizing the individuals that I observe everyday and arise at my-own interpretation of their adaptations, all while putting it to paper, lest I were to ever die before my sons were at an appropriate and comprehensible age that we might’ve already covered them all.

If any of my writing happens to resonate with you and your offspring, then so be it. Perhaps [like me] feeling that your children’s ultimate potential is largely beyond your control, at least you can conceivably find a little humor in the pages that follow, all while supplementing your newfound ability to sit on a bench at the mall and people-watch at a near professional level based upon what you will be exposed to inside.

But, first a warning: Some of you might misinterpret the following pages as “judgmental”. Granted, there are decent kids out there with bright futures ahead of them that might presently fit into one or more of the categories that I write about; however, I guarantee you that they are the exception rather than the rule. Nevertheless, it’s probably best that you just consider me a concerned United States citizen, taxpayer, and parent trying to find humor in the fact that I’m terribly worried about what this country might be like when I have grandchildren, while refraining from taking what follows too personal or seriously.

So… Without any further ado…