Family:
CHEESEBALLION
Genus:
Ponytailian
Species:
butimaguyimus
Common Name:
“dude looks like a lady!”
Subcategories:
Losinghairium ungracefullian: (Note: May also drive a Corvette™) Overtly receding, a thinning crown, or altogether what is universally considered “bald”, but unfortunately unaware it.
Probably Evolved From:
Ponytailian butimaguyimus most-likely evolved from longer-haired hippies not wanting to let go of their youth; or never having to.
Close Affiliations:
Corvettimi oldmanimus, Baldheadamii inaconvertibleamus, Richandfamousii butstillaloneamus
Don’t Confuse With:
The elder lady that is unfortunately thinning in the latter part of her life, but still fluffing-up her hair with Aqua Net™ in order to unsuccessfully suggest a voluminous mane. Occasionally P. butimaguyimus will garner a whistle from construction workers that see it from behind, only to turn around and reveal a moustache with its smile. This is very embarrassing for said construction worker.
Preferred Everyday Activity:
P. butimaguyimus is rarely a corporate bigwig. Even if it ever is, it is probably laughed at by others and not taken seriously. It can usually be found playing music in a band at a local club.
Approachability:
Usually cordial and very nice. Easily approachable.
Ultimate Life’s Potential:
To play bass in a local band. Or maybe double as a drag-queen with a ridiculous stage-name.
Reality:
Will confuse its offspring on masculine vs. feminine issues.
How to Avoid Becoming One:
If male, and especially if you are balding, avoid ever growing your hair out long enough to put it in a ponytail.
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