33... Meantowaitstaffian penisheadimus

Family:

CHEESEBALLION

Genus:

Meantowaitstaffian

Species:

penisheadimus

Common Name:

Napoleon syndrome

Subcategories:

Unawaretheywillian spitindafoodimus: This is the restaurant connoisseur that overtly treats the servers like they are lower-class citizens that are beneath its stature in general, or worse. In doing so, it is often completely unaware that they could [in theory, and for good reason] completely spike its food and/or drink with something both nasty and dangerous.

Probably Evolved From:

Meantowaitstaffian penisheadimus often works at a “professional” job during the week in which it has to deal with lots of criticism. Therefore, it has no problem unleashing its pent-up anger on the “lowly” waitress at whichever restaurant it might be dining.

Close Affiliations:

Across the board it will surprise you with how many affiliations it has with other species.

Don’t Confuse With:

A patron with a legitimate complaint that might happen to be a little testy.

Preferred Everyday Activity:

Gleefully making the lives of wait-staff miserable everywhere.

Approachability:

Usually approachable as long as you are not wearing an apron or carrying a tray of food.

Ultimate Life’s Potential:

To be a respected restaurant critic.

Reality:

Will remain oblivious to the amount of other peoples’ saliva (or maybe even worse) that it consumes over a lifetime.

How to Avoid Becoming One:

First, consider yourself above nobody. Second, if anyone is ever handling your food, whether at a nice establishment or at a fast-food restaurant, kill them with kindness, even when they might mess-up your order. In general, you can get a good idea of the character of people based on how they treat people like waiters and waitresses. Always remember that.