32... Doesntknowsunburnedian ondabeachamus

Family:

CHEESEBALLION

Genus:

Doesntknowsunburnedian

Species:

ondabeachamus

Common Name:

fair-skinned tourist

Subcategories:

Wearsnosunscreenium redasalobsterian: This breed of species will spend the entire first day of vacation at the beach without even considering putting on any sunscreen. Further detailed observation has led to the conclusion that this creature is apt to be male, have a gut, and varying degrees of hair on its back and shoulder region.

Unfortunatechildean whitetrashforparentsium: Often the 2^nd generation offspring of Wearsnosunscreenium redasalobsterian, this vulnerable creature has parents that do not apply sunscreen or offer shade to it while at the beach.

Probably Evolved From:

A lack of education and a general despair at being white trash and never knowing any better.

Close Affiliations:

Trailerparkian neverwantstoleaveamus

Don’t Confuse With:

The individual that is getting just a bit sunburned on top of the shoulders.

Preferred Everyday Activity:

Somehow always managing to get between you and your view of the ocean, Doesntknowsunburnedian ondabeachamus likes to set-up camp near the water and play horseshoes with its son [Piercedlipimum nevergetajobamus] all day long while obliviously frying in the direct sunlight.

Approachability:

Easily approached and will allow you to take a picture in exchange for beer.

Ultimate Life’s Potential:

To not get sunburned this year.

Reality:

Will get sunburned every single year until it opts for sunscreen and/or a shirt. Actually, the suggestion of a shirt is a brilliant idea.

How to Avoid Becoming One:

Wear sunscreen [even when it’s cloudy] or keep your shirt on while at the beach.