Family:
LOSERIUM
Genus:
Neonlightium
Species:
undercarimus
Common Name:
Idiot, dumbass
Subcategories:
Strobelightium undercarimus: Apparently carries the party with it wherever it may venture.
Probably Evolved From:
Being deprived of hugs and words of affirmation in its early life, unfortunately combined with the inherent will to do anything in order to get more attention.
Close Affiliations:
Pantus ondagroundamus, Pimpmyrideamus bigfatspoilerium, Coffeecanimus mufflerinium, Carradioxium loudisimus, Spinnerrimsium cantpaydarentimus
Don’t Confuse With:
The High Intensity Discharge (HID) bluish headlights that come standard presently on many luxury vehicles.
Preferred Everyday Activity:
Besides appearing to be a dumbass, Neonlightium undercarimus generally passes time loitering with other losers in the grocery store parking lot just north of town.
Approachability:
Perceived as friendly as long as you approach it slowly while waving a neon green break-n-glow-stick high in the air.
Ultimate Life’s Potential:
To be a writer for some type of “pimp-my-ride” magazine.
Reality:
“Would you like an apple pie to go along with your order?”
How to Avoid Becoming One:
Easy… Leave the flashy neon lights for the windows of bars. There is absolutely no reason to put one under a car. If you do so, you are basically begging someone to kick your ass.
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